Management Leverage Blog

I once spent the evening with a Greek family outside Olympus. Actually, my traveling companion and I thought we had wandered into a restaurant. But after a few sips (or was that glasses?) of some really bad wine, the whole scene slipped pretty quickly into what seemed like My Big Fat Greek Family Reunion.

Like many of the patrons, the band was related to the proprietor. They sat at a table, leaving the stage empty. And when they began to play, people spontaneously danced. There was no warm up first. These people were obviously serious about their dancing.

It wasn’t long before we were swept into the event (I don’t think they gave us much choice) and after several hours of Greek square dancing without the plaid outfits, I received my bill, abruptly reminding me that I was at a restaurant, not a party.

This evening stands out from (too) many other restaurant visits, because the proprietor invited us behind the restaurant façade and into his boisterous family. It was loud, chaotic, and fun. Above all else, it was also authentic.

We often forget authenticity in our daily lives as managers. In our quest to align incentives, provide feedback and effectively delegate, we often forget that people respond best to other people, not professional techniques.

Behaving professionally, does not mean ‘vanilla’. And it also doesn’t mean you need to find your Anthony Robbins-esque touchy feely center, somehow releasing the real you in the process. Just be as you as you can stand.

Not everyone will respond favorably, of course. But those who do will become fans, and those that don’t will eventually leave. It won’t be long before you are mostly left with directs who will spontaneously dance your praises.

Photo by georgeanddana

The advent of social media has finally provided managers tools they need to give feedback that is both timely and frequent. So how do you use all these new toys to give feedback?

Don’t do it.

If your intent is to make someone feel good, then a quick tweet or Facebook post might do the trick. But that’s praise, not feedback.

Though the two are often confused, managers give feedback for very different reasons than praise. The purpose of feedback is to continue positive or discontinue negative behaviors.

Properly implemented, feedback lies at the heart of a manager’s effectiveness, as it frees a manager to focus on more strategic matters. It’s important stuff.

And the channel you choose to communicate to your direct reports conveys the importance you place on both the topic and your relationship with them.

While you may use social media to let the world know you are engaged to be married, or you are expecting your first child, you would offend those closest to you if you did not have the common courtesy to at least pick up the telephone.

Similarly, give feedback face-to-face, or by phone if you are separated by several time zones. The topic and your relationship with your direct are that important.

Photo by nodmonkey